This category contains some personal “ah, ha” moments as I study and work within the clinical mental health world.
Existential isolation! A phrase virtually nobody speaks of these days, yet is the human phenomenon to blame for much of what is both great and destructive in the human experience. Without the means to gain a healthy acquaintance with one’s isolation there is no limit to the neurotic reactions it can provoke in a person,…
It used to really bug me when people would use the phrase, “your truth.” It always seemed to me a convenient evasion from the hard work of sober thinking, of confronting difficult truths about life and self, a denial of Truth itself. What I discovered is that many people indeed use it for these purposes,…
“No one can be wholly and indivisibly in the present,” writes Kierkegaard, “before he is finished with the future.” With this single line Kierkegaard exposes profound implications of both faith and how to conquer anxiety. In Kierkegaard’s most spiritual works, the “Upbuilding Discourses”, he battles with the question, “How do I know I have faith…
There seems to be a growing interest in ancient philosophy for many today. I can’t help but wonder how much of this has to do with the increasing levels of anxiety we face, anxiety seemingly impervious to modern remedies. One of the rising stars in this revival is Stoicism. Let me say at the beginning…
Mutual understanding is the lifeblood of successful marriages. Take any successful relationship you know of and you can bet they succeed because they’ve learned the art of communicating. Without it even the best relationships shipwreck. But as every man who has ever tried to argue with a woman, and every woman who has ever tried…
Let me make a quick personal note on the word self-care. In truth, I really detest this word, and I think there is good reason why it took thousands of years for it to find its way into the vernacular. Not only does the word sound wimpy, it sounds selfish; it sounds like the sort…
Self-care should not be an attempt to overpower or conquer oneself, but rather the free experience of oneself. If conquering yourself—i.e., making yourself not angry, not sad, not nervous, etc.—is your primary aim, then chances are, however you go about the conquering, you will only succeeding in fortifying whatever neurosis you were struggling with in…
Rarely a day goes by when my newsfeed isn’t running at least a half dozen articles on mental health. I’m a mental health counselor, and most of these articles bore me to tears; I can only imagine how others take them. The truth is, mental health articles are about as fun to read as they…
First off, show up. Don’t ask permission, just show up. It’s always difficult to know just what to say when a friend or loved one tells you of a personal tragedy. The usual responses of “I’m so sorry,” or “what can I do?” are often not helpful. Both of these, though usually coming from a…
“Can you think of anything more frightful,” writes Kierkegaard, “than that it might end with your nature being resolved into a multiplicity, that you really might become many, become, like those unhappy demoniacs, a legion, and you thus would have lost the inmost and holiest thing of all in a man, the unifying power of…
Fight your feelings if you want, but you will lose. You will lose because that small domain occupied by your conscious self is no match for the far larger more powerful unconscious self. The good news is that one’s unconscious mind does not desire a fight, but rather peace. The trouble is that it is…
Anyone with a penchant for Greek mythology has undoubtedly encountered the bit about Hercules donning women’s clothing for a three-year period while in servitude to Omphale, daughter of the queen of Lydia. The legend recounts how Hercules—yes Hercules, slayer of giants, decapitator of the Hydra, destroyer of the hounds of hell—became “voluptuous and effeminate” sporting…
The following piece was written a little over a year ago, but for some reason never made it to my blog. Reading it over again brought back some insights that I wanted to share with my readers. My hope is that it finds its way to people working through similar issues who might need a…
“What do you seek?” (John 1:37). These are the first words from Christ to those who would become disciples; a question as simple as they come, and no less profound. I often ask my clients in therapy, “what do you want?” And I leave the question there, hanging in ambiguity. The usual reply is,…
I’ve loved Kierkegaard for 2 decades and have managed to read nearly everything he wrote, many two or three times. Yesterday during my second run through of The Concept of Anxiety I was struck by a passage that spells out the task of psychology in a way I’ve never heard it; something that I apparently…
We’ve all known those people who cannot be pleased no matter what we do. They provide true ‘damned if I do, damned if I don’t’ situations. If you’re like me you tend to believe there exists some magic phrase, some perfect logic, argument, deed, expression that can be said or done that will bring the…
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced" -Kierkegaard
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